Two and a half years ago I started this blog as a motivation tool - to push myself to shoot more and to shoot better. Knowing that your images are going to be on the internet for anyone to see, puts you in an entirely different mindset when shooting than just thinking that they'll simply reside on your hard drive. So I promised myself that I would blog EVERY shoot, no matter how it turned out. And I've done just that. But inadvertently, I realize now that in documenting my progress, I was also documenting my failures.
Every artist, every photographer, every person will repeatedly face this very obstacle. It is both frustrating and equally humbling. I wish I could say that I'm the kind of person who faces failure head-on and laughs at setbacks, but I'm not. When failure hits me my entire sense of self deflates. I crumble. I'm not proud to admit that, but there it is.
This past weekend I faced a failure - I set out to photograph in and around Beaufort, SC. In recent weeks, due to personal struggles, I've had difficulty finding the drive to photograph. So on Saturday, I was determined to push past those struggles and simply force myself to shoot. After a forty minute drive and a parking meter paid for, I took my camera out to frame a photo of the marina. My camera battery died. I didn't have a spare one on me. I couldn't buy a replacement. In that moment, I crumbled. I turned around and went back home with nothing to show for the time and energy spent. I felt the world pointing to me, telling me that I wasn't ready to start shooting again.
Saturday, I crumbled. I wallowed. I was angry and disappointed with myself.
But Sunday? Sunday I put my big girl panties on and told myself to get over it. These photographs here aren't a documentation of the failure I faced on Saturday, rather they're a representation of how I overcame that failure the following day.
I trekked back up to Beaufort with two fully charged batteries in hand. And six extra memory cards...just in case.
While these images may not be my very best, I'm happy with what they represent to me.
Failure is humbling. Facing it is daunting. Overcoming it is rewarding.
